Musings

Trust, Scars, and Stormy Places

I have seen flowers come in stormy places
And kind things done by men with ugly faces,
And the gold cup win by the worst horse at the races
So I trust, too.
John Masefield.

Life is messy, unpredictable, and occasionally brilliant. Stormy places can grow flowers. Horses you’d bet against can take home the gold. The world isn’t always what it seems, and that’s precisely why it’s worth sticking around.

How you see it, though, depends a lot on where you stand. The lenses you wear—shaped by your past, your scars, and your hopes—colour everything. Storms might look like chaos to one person and necessary rain to another. The trick isn’t to pretend you’re lens-free but to recognise the tint. To pause and ask, “Is this how things are, or just how I see them?”

And then, there’s trust. Not the kind you offer blindly, but the kind you live with—a quiet understanding that life, for all its storms, has a way of working things out. Trust is sitting with uncertainty, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s knowing that flowers can grow through cracks and that a “no-hope” horse might just surprise you.

Hope isn’t naïve. It’s stubborn. It keeps you showing up, even when the odds don’t look great. It reminds you that the scars you carry aren’t just wounds—they’re proof you’ve lived through storms before.

That’s my note to myself. For today.

Stay alive to the oddities.

Be present to what’s in front of you, even if it doesn’t fit your map.

Trust that the story is unfolding as it should.

And keep an eye out for flowers. They show up in the strangest places.

Trapped in Feedback: A Day in the Life of Ratings and Reviews

It started as a regular day. A taxi ride to the airport. Smooth. No complaints. As I got out, the driver smiled. “Please rate your ride,” he said. I tapped a number on my phone. Simple enough—or so I thought.

Next stop—the airport restroom. I washed my hands and reached for a towel. An attendant appeared with a clipboard. “Feedback, please,” he said, shoving a form into my damp hands. I scribbled something quickly. Who rates restrooms anyway?

Coffee time. The coffee was lukewarm. The feedback form was fresh. “How would you rate your drink?” the barista asked. I stared at the form. Then at my cup. Was I rating taste? Temperature? Or my general disappointment with life? I gave it a “3.” It felt safe.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it? The 5-point scale. Looks simple. But what does “3” even mean? “Okay, I guess”? Or “I don’t want to be rude”? What about “2” and “4”? Are they just there to confuse us?

I was on edge by then. Would I be asked to rate the waiting area chairs? Or the airport temperature? Just as I relaxed, my phone rang.

“Your car has been serviced,” the voice said. “You’ll get a feedback form shortly.” Of course, I would. Why stop now?

And then came the upgrade—the 7-point scale. Or the 10-point one. As if we needed more ways to be unsure. How do you rate coffee between “lukewarm” and “slightly less lukewarm”? Can anyone tell the difference between a “6” and a “7” on a 10-point scale?

The day dragged on. More forms. More questions. It felt like a game show where the prize was exhaustion. No moment was safe from feedback.

Finally, I got home. Kicked off my shoes. Sank onto the couch. Peace.

Then I heard it.

“Dad,” my daughter asked sweetly, “on a scale of 1 to 5, how was your day?”

I stared at her. Then I laughed. Because, really, what else could I do?

Even at home, the Likert Scale had followed me.

Attention

Attention is not cheap. It is scarce, free to give away and costly. Heck, it is invaluable. Like oxygen, it is omnipresent. That makes it seem cheap. You will realise it only when you don’t have enough of it.

I remember asking my dad, “Why do we say, ‘pay attention’?”. What are we paying really. Well, I know now, that we pay quite a bit.

We let others pilfer it away. Or give trade it away for trifles. We won’t do that with stuff like money but attention is another matter. It’s of course a different matter that there are people making their money off our attention. Heck, there is an entire economy devoted to it.

We gladly give thinking we have an infinite amount of it. Wrong. Attention is scarce. It is fragmented. We need to protect it. Cracks come into into tight bonds when attention stands overdrawn. Depleted and worn.

When we pay for the unnecessary with our attention, we prey on our relationships. On ourselves.

Living by design is about being careful with where we let our mind go. There is one more reason that got me thinking about all of this.

You are what you pay attention to.

It is as simple as that. Think about that. That is the key to unlocking all your super powers!

There is so much going on in the world. Much allure and endless cacophony seem to make the meaningless the center of it all. Many who came in search of music have settled for non stop noise. Worse, we contribute to it too.
Filter failure, said Clay Shirky. “Its not attention overload but filter failure”. That is a strong influence on me and my thinking.

So, think about this. How strong are your filters? When did you last check? It’s like asking when did you last look at the locks of your vaults? Especially, because there have been so many break ins.

The Power of Facilitation

Every now and then, there are domains and disciplines that come to the forefront and shine. Sometimes for a flicker of a brief moment and at other times for a bit longer.  Before retreating to the back offices of quiet practice or the ignominy of obsolescence and death. Facilitation, however, has been around for ages morphing with societal changes, demands and evolving constantly. There are moments in time, that are inflection points that provide opportunities never seen before. Right now, is one such. We are in the throes of life-altering changes in society that tugs at the power of facilitation to help create pathways for the future.

The future of work and life stand at a crossroad of sorts. We could go in many directions. A cursory examination of the world that we live in brings us face to face with a number of realities. Of course, there are many more. The following strikes me as dominant. (Please feel free to add and debate).

Reality # 1: Fractured and frayed

Switch on the television or flip open any newspaper. The fault lines show. Between countries, cultures, age groups. So much so, that that new fault lines appear citing the existence of a fault line in history and thus get perpetuated into the future. The consequent problem: mankind has been losing its humanity in such crevices. When we can’t have a civil conversation with one other, society has tripped on progress and fallen face down into the sand.

Reality # 2: Multiplier Effect

With the proliferation of social media and social tools, everybody has an equivalent of a global megaphone. Every minor fault line commands its own space, followers and likes. Over time, this shapes beliefs and positions that make possibilities for inclusive dialogue recede.  The tyranny of echo chambers wreck havoc.  The space and platforms for a neutral coming together disappear and walls (sometimes physical ones too) take their place.

Reality # 3: The technology conundrum

The rapid progress of technology has fundamentally altered how we went about our lives. We have ceded spaces in our lives that we treasured to technology. As the world sees more wearables, artificial intelligence, blockchain and a zillion other technologies, it takes a cursory glance to understand that the world is precariously poised. Add the possibility of singularity to that list, and we don’t know how the world will be in the not so distant future! Will we continue to be driven by the lure of profit or will we get to rise up to lift the world with technology? We don’t know.

Reality # 4: New world order

All of the above have churned the world order that we once knew. Countries that lead the charge in showing the way are now under the weather, having lost much sheen. The ‘order’ that they promoted lies amidst new questions and fresh doubts. For sure, a new world order brings with it new undertones of strife and conflict. With young populations armed with technologies that can well see beyond nations and boundaries, yet wrapped tightly in think ideologies, the future seems like a looming dark cloud.

If all of that seems far removed from the everyday rhythms of work and home, we have to remind ourselves that our lives, our homes, our places of work function within the context of these shifts. These have an indelible impact on us. What the future of work and living can be, needs fresh discussion.

The power of facilitation

Given the scenario, facilitation, as a body of work is well poised to act as a lever. There are a number of factors that will augment that argument. As a practitioner, my top three factors to bat for the power of facilitation, given where the world is, are the following.

a. The centrality of conversation and engagement

Facilitation is about the conversation, dialogue, engagement and an opportunity to shape a future that is different from the present.  Entrenched positions and echo chambers make strong walls but facilitation is best poised to be the bridge. It is not without example. The Singapore Conversations were a fantastic start. There are several other examples of public participatory decision-making processes. These need to make their move to citizen groups and communities. Without dialogue and conversation, we are broken. That is a substantive reason for facilitation.

b. The belief in the collective:

Facilitation’s working with (and on) the ‘group’ places emphasis on the ‘collective’. At best, there are solutions that emerge with everybody doing their bit to shape it. At worst, there is a recognition of the other’s position. Solutions are rooted in reality and draw strength from its foundations. It is not easy work by any stretch of imagination, but it is a platform for a beginning to be made. With effort and imagination, it evokes hope and promise.

c. A voice to all:

The belief in the collective leads to an important aspect: an opportunity to hear all voices. Sometimes just having a safe space to voice opinion is enough for a problem to sort itself out. As the gap between the haves and have-nots increases exponentially, we have a large marginalised population.  The haves and have-nots have its foundations on privilege. Privilege goes beyond economics.  It includes privileges that stem from age, technology, country of birth, the colour of skin, education, and others. Giving a voice and a safe space for every segment to share (and take responsibility for) their views is straight up the facilitation alley.

So, what must facilitators do?

The invitation for facilitation to play a crucial role emerges in both subtle and not so subtle ways.  Even as it does, there is much work for the community of practitioners from around the world to ponder, posit and practice.  Last week, I was at the Asia Conference of the International Association of Facilitators at Osaka, Japan. Conversations with fellow practitioners from around the world have had me reflecting on what must the community do. Here are some initial ideas. Let’s keep the conversation going. I remain confident that we will get somewhere.

a. Embracing technology:

The relentless march of technology has altered us as human beings and is busy working on our DNA! Amongst other things.  It has shrunk geography and tested our notions of who we are. Every profession from doctors to lawyers to taxi drivers have got to re-imagine their lives and their work. Facilitation and facilitators are no different.

To survey technologies that are emerging on the horizon and re-imagine what we could do with it for the profession is a good place to start.  This conference provided a teasing glimpse of what it can offer with hybrid sessions and a concurrent session on digital technologies that shape our world. Plus of course, an entire series on topics ranging from AI to the future of facilitation in a tech-enabled world.

We need to do more of this. We need more active experiments than the ones that shrink geography and time. Although, they are a great start. We need to get uncomfortable and weave our work around the technology that is becoming available.

b. Inclusive expansion:

As the profession expands and holds increasing allure, people from different walks of life are attracted to it. I have had conversations with a wide array of people over the last few weeks. People who have embraced facilitation with gusto. From chefs to chief executives, trainers to authors to social workers. All bringing in their own backgrounds and spice to the space. This perhaps is a good time to stay inclusive without getting lost in ‘definitions’ of what is (and isn’t) facilitation! We have a job to do. So what if facilitation goes by a different name or wears different overalls.

c. The work within:

As the profession advances, every facilitator needs to do deep work on self. That goes beyond facilitation tools. Facilitation, as a way of life, implies that it is a way of thinking and living. To elevate the profession requires facilitators to go deeper within. Becoming more aware of ‘the shadow’ self and its consequences are important. Here is a piece I had written earlier written whilst engaging with a similar thought stream.

Every time we reduce the profession to a bagful of tricks and tools, we rip a part of potential and toss it into a vacuous space.

The power of facilitation is more rooted in the outcomes that it can produce.  One way to advance the cause is to help larger groups of people experience facilitation in the context of the real world challenges. That implies work that goes beyond organisational domains. The work at the level of community, smaller cohorts working on challenges that confront everyday life can be challenging. To say the least. From traffic to pollution to plastic to even fostering peace in the building you live in. These are opportunities to hold space for a bunch of people to discuss and debate.

However, harnessing the power of facilitation that resides in everyone requires one crucial step.  Which is as simple as stepping forward with courage and stay open to all that emerges in the group.  There is raw power in quiet courage. Try.

 

Clouds Of Japan

Tokyo is a city on the move. With a sense of calm hurriedness that can only be best experienced in a crowded metro. Or when the welcome note to the rented apartment mentions “by the way, there may be earthquakes. Don’t Panic”. Or like Typhoon Jebi is raging on and the resolute Japanese fight back with calm! ..
The Japanese are used to clouds. In a sad way too. But it doesn’t take long for you to notice they don’t let it cloud their way of living.

#traveller #instatravel #instapassport #blogger #travelblogger #blogging #travelinsights #traveladdict #traveltheworld #wanderlust #destinations # #wonder #independenceday #famous #celebrations #entrepreneur #love #wonder #musings #india #lives #nature #airport #Japan #tokyo #Jebi #typhoon (at Tokyo, Japan)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BnUhMS6FboX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zeghvxd3t3iq

Traveller Or Tourist?

“when all is said and done, much more remains to be said and done”.

At the end of the Chicago leg of this travel, @flyohare ’s elevators say goodbye in a shiny memorable way!
“The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see”. Thats G.K.Chesterton. Now that I dint come to see the elevators, I guess I am a traveller! 🙂 

You Are Enough

Occasionally, there is one message that surfaces on Whatsapp that staves off the deletion of the app from the phone! This video below is one such. It got me thinking. Reflection lead to journaling. And on a long haul flight, I typed this out in my personal journal. With warts and all that. And on a whim, am posting it on the blog. It has an interesting theme: You are enough.

We live in a world where there is a constant strife for more. Even as that cancer scrounges everything that the Earth has and more, there is one more (worse) cancer that has seized us all. That is the feeling that we somehow are all ‘inadequate’. That who we are, as we are, is not enough. Where we seek something to complete us!

 

 

The seeking for something to complete our own feeling of inadequacy is cancerous. Can we ever get completed by a material object? If so, how long? It is a silly song playing on your shiny new phone on a loop mode. The song that the soul needs, you will catch yourself humming when you are exerting yourself doing something worthwhile.

Does that mean, we should not strive to get better? No. That’s not the point. The central theme is this: Completion happens within. Completion begins with the belief that I am complete! Completion begins with accepting myself with my warts. Completion begins with me changing as a person. That change comes about through conversation, having multiple experiences, reflecting on these experiences. And changing over a period of time. Completion is not available for home delivery. No, it’s not in the store down the road or on the internet to download.

Completion is not the end. Perhaps its a recognition that there is no need for any completion but to live in the moment. To just be. To reflect and adjust sails to get better at ‘just be’. The power to begin the internal change starts with recognising that there is nothing to fix. There is nothing broken.

But a morphing to something is inevitable. And as the morphing happens, the opportunity to shape the change and morph is present. Not beginning with an inadequacy but a desire to get better as a living being.

Change happens all around.  The world changes to adapt to the change. Everyone changes with time. Some more. Some less. Sometimes consciously and at other times, otherwise. To remain conscious and stay light can keep us going towards living richer lives.

Lives where I don’t need material objects to complete me. Where the seeking for change is not from inadequacy but from the shaping of an inevitable: Change!

 

Flying Over the North Pole: Big Engines, Tiny Thoughts

Flying over the North Pole is magical. White stretches everywhere. Then a flash of sparkling blue. The Airbus A380 hums along, powerful yet tiny against the vast sky.

It makes you think.

Big and small are just ideas.

Up here, the plane feels like a dot. Down below, it’s a giant. Perspective changes everything. It’s humbling. It’s beautiful. It’s a moment to pause and wonder.

Mumbai’s Rain: A City of Anticipation and MagicFocus

There’s something about Mumbai when it rains. The city slows, just a little. The streets glisten. The sea looks alive. But there’s also something about Mumbai when it waits for rain. The air is thick with hope. The sky teases with grey clouds. People glance up, waiting.

Anticipation fills the city.

And when the first drop falls, it feels like Mumbai breathes again.

The wait makes the rain sweeter.

That’s Mumbai—a city of moments.There is something to Mumbai when it rains. There is something to Mumbai when it expects the rain!

There’s Always Something Higher

It’s all relative. You feel tall—until you see a taller tower. The Lotte Tower, perhaps. Then, as you marvel at its height, you look around and find one taller still.

Even when you think you’ve reached the pinnacle, the sky stretches above, vast and infinite. It’s a humbling reminder: there’s always something higher, something more.

A professor of industrial engineering once said, “There’s always a better way.” And perhaps, there’s always a better version of you waiting to emerge.

Growth never ends, and the journey to be better is the tallest tower you’ll ever climb.