story

Language

There are roughly 7000 languages worldwide that get spoken. Each is unique and they form a vital link to the culture of a different time. Which is why, they must be preserved.

Language is a give away to beliefs. To biases. And when language evolves, we see how cultures shift over time. That’s why it’s important to study language. Or at least, how language evolves by use.

Have you thought of language as a measure of life? Toni Morrison manages to pose questions and comments that get me to think about things deeply. In this case, language.

There are obvious benefits patently visible to the naked eye. On the surface. But range and nuance swim in deeper waters.

Even as I think deeply about these, I realise its easy to stay on the surface! Like now.

Secret Destinations

Secret destinations are not so secret if you are not solely focused on the destination you came after. Martin Buber stitched travel to my heart with this immortal line.

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware”.

Martin Buber

We all go on our journeys. There is a said destination that a contented traveller gets to. But a real traveller goes far beyond. Because the destination is not the end point. Several story(ies) start after you arrive!

There are elements like what else you discover in a journey. Like the lay of the land and markers in its evolution. Like this glorious temple of a 1000 years. It’s historical undulations. Some scripted in stone and other new tales that are spun to suit today’s skies. The internet tells you about this land’s past glory, the minerals beneath it and the flow of the water across the hills and much else. You can drink all of it in like a voyeur with no skin in the game or like a lover who is immersed in her love.

The rich air tells you a few stories, only if you are ready to stop and take in a breath without necessarily being coveted by the dull lure of THE destination you came after. Sometimes, I infer my lessons by looking at the people and their ways. Their quick stride, the simple ways, easy smiles, the quite common afternoon snooze under the neem tree and the collective bath by the lakeside.

At night when I peruse my random notes to realise, secret destinations are not so secret if the focus is on curiosity and possibility beyond what is apparent.

Today, I make my notes sitting in the shade that the Sun and a 1000 year old wall come together to offer.

There are two others men there. Animated in conversation.

One tells another a story from history about the king and his valour. He speaks as though he has seen it first hand. Passionate. Lyrical. And filled with energy. I am hooked. The story meanders.

And suddenly, he looks into his watch and remembers that they have to be somewhere else by this time. The other agrees. Their destination interferes with a story that was building up well. Both of them get up, dust themselves up and move.

Leaving me with their incomplete story. I let the king stay within me whilst shuffling my feet and wondering what new secret destination awaits the king. And me.

Weaving culture through stories

Inanimate objects have a way of jumping to life when a story is woven around them. It is simple, isn’t it? Context determines the attention that we give to an object. When we get to know more about the context, the object jumps to life. There is much power in stories. In fact, paying attention to stories and culture will help us live rich lives.

Sample this.

The other day, my mom bought a saree and gave it an affectionate caress and whilst marveling its intricate pattern said, “that’s 41 years of experience that’s got this out”.  Intrigue got the better of me and I soon found this card with her.  This card came with the saree, she said. Whoever had thought about it, has a brilliant mind.

Truth be told, my appreciation of sarees is next to zero and the role often is limited to being the man in tow, when a saree is being bought. The card helps me view the saree as a product of human effort now. An object that I can relate to much better.

The power in stories.

That there is power in stories is a given. In the above instance, the saree, an inanimate object, came alive to me because of the added context. A human being with all life experiences is a carrier of stories. A power-packed repository, if you will. So power packed that tapping into them can completely alter the perception about the person. Often times, bringing alive our own biases and themes in our mind.

Lincoln, once famously said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better”.

Stories and conversation.

If stories are at the heart of it all, it is conversations that bring them alive. In whichever form or shape, it is conversations that are active carriers of stories. In the ‘everything-needs-to-be-measured-binary-digital-transactional-world’, conversations have been reduced to transactions. The richness that lies nestled within us evaporates like the hope expecting parents had for a stillborn child.

Edgar Schein, who I have written about earlier, through Humble Inquiry and Humble Consulting espouse practical ways of empathy and connection.  A connect that has curiosity, discovery, and conversation as basic tenets to build on.

As I interact and work with leaders across the board and around the world, there is one thing that emerges ever so clear to me. The ability to create the climate for conversations to thrive is a competence modern day leaders must work on. There is much work that needs to be done in this space. Therein lies the space for us, our stories and our conversations.

Is there anything that we can do in our daily lives to be able to foster this. A bunch of things stand out for me. Here are two. These need to be expanded on.

1. Take on less: Keeping empty spaces in the calendar is, in the modern times, seen as inefficient planning. For all those who run a “return on investment” calculation on conversations: Returns that come from deep conversations are non-linear, long lasting and disproportionate in the long term. To go deep is necessary to expand.

2. Deep conversations have a lot more to do with questions, deep listening, and curiosity than sharing. Not that sharing is not important. Just that it becomes a natural part of evolving conversation.

Here is a fantastic blogpost that I discovered. Titled 52 Questions to Bring You Closer Together it is a keeper. I love the methodology behind the questions as much as the questions themselves, for it has lead me to work on and add on to the list.

Here is another story

Come September, along with my friend Stephen Berkeley,  I am running a one day workshop titled “Building Bridges Breaking Walls, One Story at a time” in Osaka.  At the Asia Conference of the International Association of Facilitators, we hope to stir some conversation.  Just as we did last year in Seoul, South Korea.  The workshop last year got us some feedback that flattered us beyond our imagination. Sitting at the lobby of the hotel in Seoul, still chuffed by the kind words that participants had for us, we promised ourselves last year that we would think through and prompted us to think and offer a more holistic offering.  That’s exactly what we have put together for this time.

For starters, we have gotten a lot more committed to the idea of encouraging a greater coming together. We intend continuing this conversation well into the future.  Through portals, platforms and one conversation at a time. We are aware that the role of leaders in creating a space for genuine deep conversation is something that we seek to explore even more.

That this conversation must develop is something that we are convinced of.  In organisations, communities, civil society and every other place, people have to be able to sit down and talk to each other. And hear each other out. The times we live in has seen building walls of all kinds catching the fancy of the world. But if we were to fancy our chance of passing the planet on to generations that come, we have to invest in our each other. Through our stories!

We look forward to your support.  We will keep try and aggregate our thoughts under the #story2story hashtag. Please dive into the conversation. In the meanwhile, listen to someone’s story. You never know what it can do to you. Or to them.

Travel: More Than Just Seeing

Travel does more than take you places—it puts you face to face with your biases. It forces you to notice what you usually ignore. And suddenly, new possibilities appear.

It’s not about ‘just seeing.’ It’s about feeling, learning, and understanding. When you travel with intent, the world becomes richer. You notice details, connect with people, and see life from another angle.

That’s when travel truly keeps you alive—by opening your mind and reshaping the way you see the world.

A Sense of Play: The Secret to Joy and Creativity

All you need is a sense of play. A little ease. And suddenly, laughter and joy follow.

Play isn’t just for kids. It’s what makes things work—at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Experiment. Try. Run. Jump. Do something silly.

It works. Every single time.

If you need proof, look at kids. They don’t overthink. They don’t worry about failing. They just play. And in that play, they create, explore, and discover—things, and themselves.

What if we could bring just a little of that into our daily lives? A playful mindset might just be the secret to more joy, less stress, and surprising new ideas.

So today, try it. Play. Not for a result, but for the fun of it. Let the laughter find you.

Kids do it all the time. Why shouldn’t we?

(at Alibaug Beach)

Of Borders and lines

For a trickle of Korean Won, we could peer through fixed telescopes and look into North Korea. To the clank of the coin settling into the metal box, I peered on. Blue skies. An occasional soldier. Green mountains, and fluttering birds. It could have been some nature reserve. But I was standing at the Korean border at Imjingak and staring into North Korea.

The Demilitarized Zone ( ‘Dee Emm Zee’) is a strip of land running across the Korean Peninsula separating the two Koreas. It is 250 kilometers long and 4 KM wide. With wire fences, watchful eyes and guns on either side its brought with it a side benefit. There are no apartment complexes, flyovers, malls with their attendant parking lots and the like. You get the picture, don’t you? Who doesn’t know the rampant poverty that ‘development’ ushers in the world over? The DMZ though is green and lush. Perhaps no other piece of green is as protected and watched by the rest of the world as much as this strip! Dark cloud, silver lining and all that.

Beyond the Demilitarized Zone is one of the heaviest military presence. And heavier posturing perhaps. The posturing and the promise of war have given life to some of the most endangered species thriving. DMZ plays host to some of the most exotic and endangered species. Like cranes, leopards, tigers, and bears. Perhaps these species, have over the years, learned to live under the gaze of the guns in the air and landmines beneath their feet.

That silver lining apart the DMZ is a dark area. It stands as a bright testimony to the limitless potential of human avarice, greed, and one-upmanship. The two Koreas have shouted at each other with loudspeakers ( actual loudspeakers belting out propaganda) across the border. They have tried to outdo each other building tall flag poles and sent balloons with leaflets across the DMZs. All these of course, when they weren’t busy staring each other down. Incredulous it seems. But from 1953, peace has reigned. By and large.Imjingak resort - Looking into North Korea

 

Mangbae pagoda at the Korean border - Imjingak. Yearning for reunification

The Korean border at  Imjingak which hosts the telescopes offers may a pointer. ‘Mangbaeddan‘ is one such. It’s an altar to pray for ancestors and their families. People from across South Korea whose origins were from somewhere in the North, come here to bow down. It’s a bowing down to their parents and ancestors as a sign of respect during new year and other important festivals. Parents who stayed back. Or could not be contacted. One whole country that is a black box. Not even a snail mail service.

There is a plaque that captures the sentiment than my words can. “After 36 years of Japanese colonial era rule, our country was liberated on August 15, 1945, thanks to the sacrifices of service personnel who fought for the nation’s independence and for an end to the Second World War. Before celebration could break out, however, Korea was arbitrarily divided into north and south according to a unilateral decision on the part of larger powers regardless of the desire of our people. Mangbaeden is a permanent alter established by the government at a cost of 500 million won (supervision by the Ministry of Home Affairs 5 North Korean Provinces, execution: Paju Country Office ), at Imjingak, overlooking the lands of North Korea.  

Five million people left their home in the north, where they had lived for generations, to avoid the Soviet army and the North Korea Communist Party’s persecution and brutalities. The refugees built a temporary altar at Imjingak on every Chuserok (Korean Thanksgiving day ), held an event to honor their ancestor and parents who had been left behind in North Korea, and longed for a permanent altar. In terms of scale and form, the censer and altar are located on a 400-m site. The Mangbae pagoda at the center represents the earnest longing for the reunification of the country and prayer for the welfare of those in North Korea. The characteristics of the historical remains, institutions and customs and mountains and streams of the 5 North Korean Provinces, and the non-reclaimed area, Gyeonggi and Gangwon were carved in seven granite stone-folding screens around the pagoda to ease the homesickness of the refugees.” 

A friend who was with us spoke with eloquence about her mom, who several years ago, had to be held back by border guards. As she dashed towards the border at Imjingak, sorely missing her mother who got left behind beyond the border.  I listened to the story with a keen ear and a pounding heart. The cruelty that permeates several lives in the planet needed explanation beyond borders, flags, and territory.

Madmen fire rockets and ramble from podiums around the world about destruction as though it were a lollipop. Even as the rest of us duck for cover, there are some who wonder if there is a silver lining somewhere.The dark clouds sprouting to the sky seem imminent. Costly, ghostly dark clouds. Will there be silver linings or will it too little, too late? Opinion is divided but hope springs eternal.

Figure of Eight Knot - Korean border Imjingak

 

There are citizens who yearn to be united. The “We are One” installation in Imjingak for instance, portrays this yearning for a peaceful reunification. “Installed by the Paju Government on February 14, 2006. This sculpture embraces our desire to achieve peaceful reunification. The joining of the two separated parts by the figure of 8-knot embodies the unification of North and South Korea. The height is 280 centimeters which represent the 28 metropolitan cities and provinces in the Korean peninsula”

Nothing perhaps captures the tragedy of the separation more than the bullet-ridden testimony that the engine of a steam locomotive that plied between the North and the South. The tracks from that time remain. The station names call attention to the staid tracks and lost ways. The bullet holes stare with vapid eloquence amidst the cackle of tourists, selfie sticks, and cameras. Somewhere in between the point of all suffering seems distant and removed from the priorities of the present day. Steam engine - Korean border Imjingak

Rail signboard - Korean border Imjingak

 

As I try to pack my memories from Imjingak into a neat stack, I realise they elude fitting in. They spring in different directions. The tears of separation and sadness seem to take away the sheen off the silver lining. That leaves me with a simple line and a dark cloud.

Ever since visiting Imjingak, any image of leaders and armchair commentators waxing eloquence on twitter or from podiums gets me ever more present to what it is on the ground. The stories that are not told. Stories about living through separation and war. It is 2017 and the world has made serious progress in several dimensions from electric cars to space travel. But can there be a greater travesty that vast tracts of the human mind continue to let the future to be held prisoner by the mistakes of the past?

Must not the imagination that has fuelled ‘progress’ also help us extricate us and co-create a better future? Even if it meant a slow, painful extrication? As I sat in silence at the Mangbaeddan, Tom Brokaw‘s commencement speech to the class of 2006 wafted in from memory. More than a decade old now, but has relevance.

Border guards - Korean border - Imjingak

Here is one part of his speech.

“So, welcome to a world of perpetual contradictions, welcome to a world of unintended consequences and unexpected realities. Welcome to a world in which war is not a video game, … in which genocide and ancient hatreds are not eliminated with a delete button. You won’t find the answer to global poverty in Tools or Help. You cannot fix the environment by hitting the Insert bar. You cannot take your place in the long line of those who came before you simply by sitting in front of a screen or at a keyboard.

The pace of change in your lifetime is at warp speed. We live now on a smaller planet, with more people, many of them on the move these days in a desperate search for economic opportunity and political freedom, a world of ever-diminishing open spaces, disappearing natural resources, with great seismic shifts in political, economic and cultural power wherever you may be on this planet…..

We cannot ignore them, and as the last four years have demonstrated in tragic fashion, a military response is inadequate. If … hostility is not addressed in a more effective manner in the West, and in the Islamic world as well, we will live in a perpetual state of terror and rage on both sides of the equation.

So a primary challenge of your time is to bank the fires of hostilities that are now burning out of control, to neutralize that hatred, to expedite not just global competition economically and politically, but also global understanding, and especially global opportunity.

To do that requires more than a fresh political strategy or imagination.”

The full text is here. The context has shifted a bit. But the fundamental contradictions remain. Only exacerbated by a new crop of leaders who whose jingoism and sabre rattling divides people even further.

Imjingak is a reminder that we need to look beyond the narratives that the unreasonable madness in the political leadership of the modern day. We need to search for and connect to a deeper humanity in each other. Cliched it may sound. There aren’t easy solutions. But the absence easy solutions must not get us lean towards letting the dark clouds loom from the ground. We still have several silver linings today. The capabilities that are present in us to operate from ‘imagination’ is one such. Perhaps we could start there.

 

Earlier Post on my Korean travel is here

 

Dreams Beyond the Border

At the border, ribbons flutter in the breeze. Messages of every kind, written in hues of hope.

One catches my eye: “One Korea. One dream.”

Despite the rockets launched or speeches rattled from global podiums, these ribbons remain steadfast, carrying fervent hopes and fragile dreams.

Dreams of a different future. A longing for peace. For harmony.

Thankfully, human hope endures where politics falters.

At Imjingak, the ribbons whisper what the world sometimes forgets.

Pipes

There are pipes that surround other pipes. All carried by wheels. Which have more wheels within wheels than there are wheels!

Big pipes. Silent, sturdy, and taken for granted. They don’t ask for attention, but without them, everything stops. Water, gas, data, ideas—flow matters. And flow needs structure.

Much like leadership. The best ones don’t make noise. They don’t demand applause. They just keep things moving—efficiently, reliably, and often unnoticed.

These pipes feed us with information and ideas about the world. For our own good we better think of which pipes we drink from and what wheels power them!

(at Mumbai, India)

A Pink Bicycle, a Green Canopy, and a Sunday Well Spent

Sunday mornings have a different rhythm. A little slower, a little softer, and undeniably indulgent. The world pauses just long enough to breathe. And today, indulgence takes the form of a pink bicycle, resting under a canopy of green. A simple, striking contrast—bold yet comforting, playful yet serene.

There’s something about pink. It carries the spirit of childhood, the joy of carefree pedaling, the wind rushing past, and the giggles that follow. It reminds us that life doesn’t always have to be about speed. Sometimes, it’s about presence.

Green completes the picture. The colour of renewal, of balance, of quiet strength. It frames the moment, offering a reminder that the world is constantly growing, shifting, and flowing—whether we rush through it or simply sit and take it all in.

And so, this Sunday morning is just that. A blend of pink nostalgia and green calm, a visual pause before the week begins again. A moment to breathe, to absorb, and to be.

How has your Sunday been? Did you find a moment of indulgence before Monday’s gears start turning?

(at Mumbai, India)

Lotte Tower: Seoul’s Giant That Won’t Be Ignored

Some buildings blend in. Lotte Tower is not one of them. It demands your attention—whether it’s the audacious leap into the sky, the curiously bulbous middle, or the way it lights up the night like a futuristic lighthouse.

Standing at 555 metres with 123 floors, it proudly claims its place among the world’s tallest buildings. But statistics aside, the real magic is underneath. Tilt your head back, take it all in, and for a fleeting moment, the sky doesn’t seem so far away.

Or maybe that’s just the vertigo talking.

#LotteTower #SeoulSkyline #TouchTheSky