federer

All the Coins Go Back in the Box

George Foreman passed away this week.

The headlines remembered his fists. I remembered his friendship. With Muhammad Ali.

They gave us one of boxing’s greatest rivalries. The Rumble in the Jungle was brutal. Ali won. Foreman fell. But the real story began much later. They became close. Joked with each other. Grew old together. Foreman once said, “Ali was the greatest man I ever met.” Not the greatest boxer — the greatest man.

It reminded me how often fierce competition leads to something deeper. A kind of friendship that’s only possible after both have given their all.

Like Jesse Owens and Luz Long. Berlin, 1936. One Black, one white. One American, one German. Hitler in the stands. And yet, Long helped Owens adjust his take-off. Owens won gold. Long stood beside him. They exchanged letters until Long died in the war. Owens later said, “You can melt down all the medals and cups I have, and they wouldn’t be a plating on the 24-karat friendship I felt for Luz Long.”

Or Federer and Nadal. Their rivalry defined modern tennis. They fought over every inch of grass and clay. But off court, something shifted. They laughed together, practiced together, cried together. When Federer retired, Nadal flew in just to sit beside him. He said, “When Roger leaves the tour, an important part of my life also leaves with him.”

Some friendships are forged not despite the competition, but because of it.

Like Leander Paes and Mark Woodforde. They played on opposite sides of the net. But somewhere along the way, Woodforde became more than a rival. He became a mentor, a guide. Paes said he learned how to be a better player — and a better person — from him. Woodforde, in turn, called Leander “a brother in tennis.” Sometimes the real partnership begins after the match.

And speaking of brothers — Ashok and Vijay Amritraj. Sometimes opponents, sometimes doubles partners. Always, a team in the bigger picture. Their rivalry never came in the way of their bond. You could watch them play and not know who won. You could only tell they cared.

Even across borders, this thread holds.

Neeraj Chopra and Arshad Nadeem throw javelins for different countries. But after the finals, it’s always the same scene. A handshake. A smile. A shared photo. “Neeraj is my brother,” said Arshad. And Neeraj replied, “Sport brings us together.” They compete with full force. And then, they connect with full heart.

Maybe that’s the point.

You have to compete. You don’t have to hate. That’s a higher order — not everyone reaches it. But those who do leave behind more than medals and records. Sports makes it visible.

They remind us that when the final whistle blows, what remains isn’t the scoreboard.
It’s the story. And sometimes, the friendship.

Because eventually, all the coins go back in the box.
What stays is who you became while playing the game.
And who stood beside you when it was over.

The cost of victory. #SandpaperGate

Everything comes at a cost. Including victory. Sometimes the cost of ‘victory at all costs’ is so mind-boggling that victory loses meaning. Today Australia (and the rest of the world) woke up to ‘ #SandpaperGate ‘. Just the other day, I was wondering about the ‘cost of victory’.

On that ‘other day’, I landed up at the attic at my mom’s place. I was looking to fill gaps in memory fuelled by gaps from WhatsApp conversations.

A few old cherished medals lay in one corner of a dusty trunk. Amongst other things that kept the medals company: an assortment of parched certificates, a couple of spent manuscripts, a dog-eared atlas, and some dull question papers from a ‘quarterly exam’ that ended decades ago.  Amidst these were some assorted pages from an old English textbook. Remnants of my school going years. I looked at the medals with wistfulness and the books with nostalgia.  And started flipping through the Engish textbook landing at ‘If’, Kipling’s much loved work.

I stayed there for a bit. There are poems that move. And then there are poems that stay with you and get you to move. Every poem is a work of art reaching places in the mind that barely existed. ‘If’ is perhaps ‘The’ poem with the shortest title while having the farthest reach. It has been a personal favourite. And as I tossed a few things around, I realised, that it has shaped my outlook too.

Today, as I was writing this post, I discovered I had a post in  2009 on ‘IF’ . It is something.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Back to the English textbook. It is in that book that I first read that two lines from ‘If’

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same”

stare at players as they walk into Wimbledon’s Centre Court.

 

I remember talking to my dad about it. And he saying that there is no meaning in victory or defeat without learning the lessons of victory and defeat. His clear voice about letting victories and defeats pass by and seek each new day as a new day sought to make their presence. He would say with emphasis often that there is a cost to victory! And if the cost of victory is greater than the victory itself, there is no point to the victory.

As I wistfully examined medals that were in the trunk, I realised that the real victory was not in getting to wear them then. It has been in moving past them, cherishing the experience of winning and later consigning the medals to the attic.

Pursuits of the present day are morphed forms of medals that I had won back then. Medals that now rest in the dark confines of an old trunk in the attic. To experience and cherish every moment, to be of value to someone, to be grateful for all that has happened. These are my aspirations now.

The medal that I seek is perhaps inner quiet, peace, and lightness. That perhaps is real victory while I scurry around looking for medals and podiums. Today there is even further realisation about real victory. Real victory is beyond paper victories. And certainly beyond sandpaper ones!