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The Art and Attitude of Humble Inquiry: A Conversation with Peter Schein

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Edgar Schein’s work has been a personal north star for me. His thoughts on leadership, culture, and learning have shaped my work in profound ways. When he passed away in 2023, it felt like a personal void. So, it was particularly special to speak with Peter Schein, who is carrying forward his father’s legacy with clarity and depth.

This obituary described Ed not just as a founding father of organisational development but as a loving father who found renewal through co-authoring books with Peter. On his last outing, Edgar had said, “We have a new style, new topics, new interests to write about, and so it is a whole new way of being, again…” This Dad-Son collaboration is refreshing and good.

In the run-up to this event, we had a chat with Peter. Beyond Humble Inquiry, we touched upon other works, including Career Anchors, which has had a refresh and additions. I have made a mental note to refresh my understanding of this. Much has changed, but the core ideas remain powerful. These conversations reminded me why Schein’s work continues to be so relevant in today’s shifting world of leadership and learning.

What also stood out was Peter’s own journey. Unlike his father, who was a social psychologist, Peter took a different path—studying anthropology at Stanford. He was drawn to understanding how groups function, how cultures evolve, and how behaviour shifts over time. It was an epiphany for him that his father’s work had also been about groups and culture, though approached from a different lens. And yet, despite this contrast, father and son found a way to collaborate seamlessly.

Even Edgar’s own intellectual journey was shaped by another discipline—his father was a physicist. This meant Edgar grew up acutely aware of the divide between the physical and social sciences. He knew that leadership, culture, and change couldn’t be measured with the same precision as the laws of physics. Perhaps that’s what made him so committed to inquiry—asking, not telling. Understanding, not prescribing.

This wasn’t just a learning moment—it was a reinforcement of ideas I have long believed in. And I wasn’t alone in the dialogue. Ramesh Srinivasan played a key role in setting up the conversation and posed thoughtful questions, while Sushma Banthia ensured seamless tech support and community engagement. Together, we created a space for deep exploration.

Key Reinforcements from the Conversation with Peter Schein

  1. Humble Inquiry is an Attitude, Not Just a SkillHumble Inquiry is about embracing what you don’t know. It’s not just a leadership technique—it’s a way of being. Real influence doesn’t come from authority but from drawing out the collective intelligence of a group.
  2. From Transactions to RelationshipsWork is no longer neatly separated from life. The idea of personizing—bringing one’s whole self into interactions—creates deeper trust. Organisations that innovate foster strong relationships, not just functional exchanges.
  3. Unlearning the Habit of TellingMany leaders struggle with the instinct to tell rather than ask. The ‘learning trios’ method—where one person asks, another responds, and a third observes—helps leaders practice listening and creating discovery rather than defaulting to pre-packaged answers.

Expanding on Three Key Ideas

1. Leadership Through Inquiry

Leadership today isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about knowing how to ask. True leadership is about enabling collective wisdom to surface. Leaders who practice inquiry build teams that are more engaged, self-sufficient, and innovative. Asking thoughtful questions—rather than giving quick answers—creates a culture where people take ownership of problem-solving rather than waiting for directives.

Peter reinforced that inquiry also makes decision-making stronger. When leaders create an open space for dialogue, they expose blind spots and identify nuances they wouldn’t have considered on their own. The most effective leaders are those who foster a culture of shared curiosity rather than just direction-setting.

2. The Digital Shift—Can Inquiry Survive?

Virtual workspaces present a challenge to humble inquiry. Emails and Slack messages strip away nonverbal cues, making it harder to sense curiosity, intent, or hesitation. Video calls are helpful, but they need to be designed for meaningful conversations, not just efficiency. Peter highlighted that sometimes, removing visual distractions—like during a phone call or a ‘walk and talk’—can actually enhance listening.

Another key challenge is the tendency to over-rely on efficiency tools at the cost of deep engagement. Organisations must be deliberate in creating time for structured dialogue. Inquiry can survive in digital spaces, but it requires conscious effort—leaders must model it, encourage it, and create safe spaces for open-ended discussions.

3. Silence as a Leadership Tool

One of the most underrated aspects of inquiry is knowing when to stay silent. Peter shared a story about a leader at an organisation he worked with, who wielded power not through commands, but through silence. Instead of rushing to offer solutions, he created space for people to think, reflect, and contribute. His presence alone shifted the room.

Silence is uncomfortable for many, but it can be a game-changer. Leaders who hold back and allow moments of quiet give others permission to step up. Silence also helps in difficult conversations—rather than filling the void with explanations or justifications, staying quiet can allow new perspectives to emerge.

Great facilitators and leaders use silence strategically, allowing the weight of a question to sink in before rushing to the next point. Inquiry is as much about listening as it is about asking the right questions.1. Leadership Through Inquiry

Inquiry and My Own Reflections

This conversation also led me to revisit some of my own writings on the subject. Over the years, I’ve explored the themes of inquiry, facilitation, and conversations through different lenses. In The Lost Art of Fine Conversations, I reflected on the power of dialogue and the unseen impact of simple exchanges. In  Building an ‘an attitude of interes’- Humble Inquiry, I examined how Edgar Schein’s principles resonated with my experiences. And in Characteristics of Awesome Facilitators, I delved into what makes facilitation truly transformative. These themes continue to shape my thinking and reinforce the idea that learning is a lifelong journey.

Essential Truth

This conversation reaffirmed an essential truth: Humble Inquiry doesn’t make leaders passive. It makes them effective. The real test of leadership isn’t in confidence, but in knowing when to listen.

In an age of loud voices, true leadership may just be about asking better questions. Edgar Schein understood this deeply. And thanks to Peter, that legacy continues. And it’s a much needed legacy in the brusque times that we live in.

It was a fun evening with the members of the International Association of Facilitators and Peter. Thoughtful questions, engaged participation, and a shared curiosity made it memorable. If anything, it reinforced why inquiry—not assertion—is the foundation of real leadership.

Coffee, Conversations, and the Heart of Facilitation

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Some conversations stay with you. This was one of them.

The IAF team captured our chat over coffee and hot chocolate in their words. Their reflections offer a glimpse into what we explored. And yet, as with all rich conversations, there was more—more nuance, more layers, more threads left to unravel.

What stood out to me was their curiosity. Their willingness to look inward, question what is, and imagine what could be. In the process, they also helped me examine some of my own beliefs.

Their hospitality was exceptional. The care, the follow-through, and the quiet determination to make this happen made it easy for me to balance this with a busy trip.

And as I left, I found myself thinking—not just about what we had discussed, but about what more is possible for us as a community.

Coffee and conversations can indeed do more.

Now, these are their words as posted below. The original post is here.

“Coffee & Conversations: The Heart Of Facilitation

Some conversations stay with you—like the one we had over hot chocolate with Kavi Arasu. What started as a casual chat became an insightful exploration of what makes facilitation truly impactful.

Mindset Over Methods

Facilitation isn’t about tools or structure—it’s about believing in yourself as the most powerful tool in the room. A great facilitator adapts, navigates group dynamics, and enables transformation. As Kavi Arasu put it: “Results get me high—not the design, not the facilitation.” It’s impact over process.

Fluidity in Facilitation

Facilitators shift roles—sometimes as a teacher, trainer, or expert—to bring clarity. The best sessions aren’t rigid; they evolve with the room. The focus is on listening deeply, building trust, and uncovering perspectives that lead to real, actionable change.

Facilitation as a Way of Being

Great facilitation isn’t about solving problems but creating the space for solutions to emerge. It starts with self-inquiry:
•            Am I truly listening?
•            How can I hold space without imposing my view?
•            What biases do I carry?

The Inner Work

Facilitation begins within. Our impact is tied to our awareness, biases, and ability to hold space. Real change starts with us before it happens in the room.

Kavi also recommended The Fifth Discipline, ICA Methods, and The Power of Facilitation—all valuable resources for facilitators.

A big thank you to Kavi for his time and wisdom. We left with more than insights—we left with a renewed commitment to the art of facilitation.”

Learning from Experience: A Leadership Journey in Stories

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Some conversations stay with you long after they end. They challenge you, nudge you, and sometimes, quietly reshape your thinking.

A leadership workshop with a diverse group of professionals from the South Gujarat region turned into one such experience. It wasn’t about grand theories or textbook leadership—it was about stories. Stories of beginnings, growth, setbacks, and decisions that shaped careers and lives.

At the heart of it was Vivek Patwardhan, whose wisdom and experience anchored the dialogue. Learning alongside him is always a privilege, and this time was no different.

What made it truly special, though, were the participants—their openness, their willingness to share not just successes but struggles and turning points. They gave themselves fully to the process, making the space richer for everyone. Learning wasn’t just something that happened; it was something we built—together.

Himanshu Bhatt steered in the participants with remarkable passion and persistence. Atul Industries and its leadership proved to be perfect hosts and provided the perfect setting for these reflections to unfold.

One moment stood out—a letter from the future. Writing to our 2025 selves from 2040 sparked something deeper. Reflection, possibility, and perhaps, a quiet resolve to shape the road ahead with intention.

This was not just another workshop. It was a shared journey—one where the greatest learning came not from a stage, but from each other. And that made all the difference.

Here is Dr.Kunal Thakkar, a participant, writing in Linkedin.

A Long-Awaited Presence at NIPM Kerala. HR Conclave 2024

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The Kerala Chapter of NIPM hosted its Biennial Conclave and Exposition-24 on the 16th and 17th of May. Anish Aravind and I had been in conversation for a long time about making this happen. This year, it finally did. And I was glad I could be there.

After the event, the Flyntrok team shared a post on LinkedIn. I think they did a fantastic job. So, leaving it here.

“The Kerala Chapter of NIPM hosted their Biennial Conclave and Exposition-24 on the 16th and 17th of May. It was an event that featured an impressive lineup of speakers and well curated topics. The event has left an impression on people who have participated going by first hand accounts and commentary online.

Flyntrok’s Kavi Arasu attended the event—or at least, most of it. He shared his key insights from his experience with the Flyntrok team. Heres what stood out from his engaging recount.

Kavi began with Madhu Nair, the CMD of Cochin Shipyard, who delivered an inaugural address that caught everyone’s attention. Nair compared carrying his 20-odd kg daughter on his shoulders during the Guruvayoor temple festivities to lugging around a bag of cement of equal weight. The difference between the two is pronounced, although the physical effort is just the same.

This simple analogy seemed to have set the stage for a recurring conversation throughout the conference, taking on different names: Work-Life Balance, Work-Life Integration, Work-Leisure Balance.

We had a quick internal discussion about how a large part of the workforce doesn’t have identities boundaried by work or profession, while for many others, work defines their identity. We are sure that we haven’t seen the last of this ’20Kg sack of cement’ metaphor!

Kavi found Satish Pradhan’s keynote particularly thought-provoking. Pradhan scattered dots of data and wisdom across his talk and asking the audience to do the work of connecting them and drawing context to anchor their learnings on. Thats precious! From Star Trek to Fuzzy Logic, and from murmuration to Augmentation. It was a rich mix of ideas that left plenty to ponder and act upon. “Delectable fare”, Kavi remarked.

Kavi noted that Biju Dominic‘s insights into neuroscience and decision-making are legendary and it held the audience in rapt attention. Prof Arvind Sahay offered persuasive research from the academic and marketing worlds. Dr Saundarya Rajesh , who has helped over 200,000 women return to work, struck a chord with her emphasis on the ecosystem and not just the individual. “That’s our tune too,” Kavi remarked. “Just when things couldn’t get more interesting, Sangeeta Kalyan stood upside down to get everybody interested in yoga! Talk about going the distance.”

Session moderation by Prof. Anandakuttan Unnithan, Prof. Biju Varkkey, and V.K. Madhav Mohan, who provided space for conversations and presentations in good measure, got some good airtime in the briefing.

Kavi himself was part of a panel on “Technology with a Human Touch,” moderated by the erudite Prashanth Nair, co-panellists Jonas Prasanna and Vaishali Gambhir who have provided personal examples and points of views. Given Flyntrok’s focus on change work at the intersection of technology and humanity, this was right up our alley. The conversation seemed to resonate with quite a few people.

From all the sharing, Kavi emphasised two specific aspects that made a difference to the audience. One, the sessions offered practical takeaways, not just limiting themselves to cerebral ideas, theoretical constructs, and frameworks. He cited the thought leadership session with Rajesh Nair, Atul Singh, and Vijayshankar Ananthanarayanan as a prime example.

The second was the subtle (and effective) presence of sponsors in this conference. “They seamlessly blended in without overwhelming the event, allowing the focus to remain on the content”, said Kavi.

And as a delightful bonus, a DEI fashion show on the 16th evening is reported to have lit up the evening.Yes, a fashion show! Kavi, who usually skips and rarely mentions anything outside the core agenda of a conference, gave this fashion show a special nod. “Very thoughtful,” he said. Must have been something!

A good conference goes beyond a mere event. The conversations it sparks and the ideas that linger long after the conference is over are a testament to how well it has served its audience and the topics discussed. Kudos to the folks at NIPM Kerala Chapter for stringing together a super show that continues to stay alive.”

Weaving culture through stories

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Inanimate objects have a way of jumping to life when a story is woven around them. It is simple, isn’t it? Context determines the attention that we give to an object. When we get to know more about the context, the object jumps to life. There is much power in stories. In fact, paying attention to stories and culture will help us live rich lives.

Sample this.

The other day, my mom bought a saree and gave it an affectionate caress and whilst marveling its intricate pattern said, “that’s 41 years of experience that’s got this out”.  Intrigue got the better of me and I soon found this card with her.  This card came with the saree, she said. Whoever had thought about it, has a brilliant mind.

Truth be told, my appreciation of sarees is next to zero and the role often is limited to being the man in tow, when a saree is being bought. The card helps me view the saree as a product of human effort now. An object that I can relate to much better.

The power in stories.

That there is power in stories is a given. In the above instance, the saree, an inanimate object, came alive to me because of the added context. A human being with all life experiences is a carrier of stories. A power-packed repository, if you will. So power packed that tapping into them can completely alter the perception about the person. Often times, bringing alive our own biases and themes in our mind.

Lincoln, once famously said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better”.

Stories and conversation.

If stories are at the heart of it all, it is conversations that bring them alive. In whichever form or shape, it is conversations that are active carriers of stories. In the ‘everything-needs-to-be-measured-binary-digital-transactional-world’, conversations have been reduced to transactions. The richness that lies nestled within us evaporates like the hope expecting parents had for a stillborn child.

Edgar Schein, who I have written about earlier, through Humble Inquiry and Humble Consulting espouse practical ways of empathy and connection.  A connect that has curiosity, discovery, and conversation as basic tenets to build on.

As I interact and work with leaders across the board and around the world, there is one thing that emerges ever so clear to me. The ability to create the climate for conversations to thrive is a competence modern day leaders must work on. There is much work that needs to be done in this space. Therein lies the space for us, our stories and our conversations.

Is there anything that we can do in our daily lives to be able to foster this. A bunch of things stand out for me. Here are two. These need to be expanded on.

1. Take on less: Keeping empty spaces in the calendar is, in the modern times, seen as inefficient planning. For all those who run a “return on investment” calculation on conversations: Returns that come from deep conversations are non-linear, long lasting and disproportionate in the long term. To go deep is necessary to expand.

2. Deep conversations have a lot more to do with questions, deep listening, and curiosity than sharing. Not that sharing is not important. Just that it becomes a natural part of evolving conversation.

Here is a fantastic blogpost that I discovered. Titled “52 Questions to Bring You Closer Together“ it is a keeper. I love the methodology behind the questions as much as the questions themselves, for it has lead me to work on and add on to the list.

Here is another story

Come September, along with my friend Stephen Berkeley,  I am running a one day workshop titled “Building Bridges Breaking Walls, One Story at a time” in Osaka.  At the Asia Conference of the International Association of Facilitators, we hope to stir some conversation.  Just as we did last year in Seoul, South Korea.  The workshop last year got us some feedback that flattered us beyond our imagination. Sitting at the lobby of the hotel in Seoul, still chuffed by the kind words that participants had for us, we promised ourselves last year that we would think through and prompted us to think and offer a more holistic offering.  That’s exactly what we have put together for this time.

For starters, we have gotten a lot more committed to the idea of encouraging a greater coming together. We intend continuing this conversation well into the future.  Through portals, platforms and one conversation at a time. We are aware that the role of leaders in creating a space for genuine deep conversation is something that we seek to explore even more.

That this conversation must develop is something that we are convinced of.  In organisations, communities, civil society and every other place, people have to be able to sit down and talk to each other. And hear each other out. The times we live in has seen building walls of all kinds catching the fancy of the world. But if we were to fancy our chance of passing the planet on to generations that come, we have to invest in our each other. Through our stories!

We look forward to your support.  We will keep try and aggregate our thoughts under the #story2story hashtag. Please dive into the conversation. In the meanwhile, listen to someone’s story. You never know what it can do to you. Or to them.

IAF Asia Conference 2017 Seoul Pre Conference Workshop Kavi & Stephen

Building Bridges & Breaking Walls. One Story at a time.

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August will be the curtain raiser month of sorts for me. I along with Stephen Berkeley will be working with interested and interesting participants at a one day Pre-Conference Workshop at the International Association of Facilitators‘ Asia Conference and exploring the power of stories in bridging the world.  The IAF Asia Conference 2017 is happening in Seoul in August 2017.   What better of a setting for a topic like  “Building Bridges and Breaking Walls. One Story at a time”! I think it fit to build context the IAF Asia Conference 2017 Seoul Pre Conference Workshop titled: “Building Bridges and Breaking Walls, One Story at a time” through a series of posts here.  This then becomes a space for conversation and dialogue on the power of stories.

IAF Asia Conference 2017 Seoul Pre Conference Workshop

IAF Asia Conference 2017 Seoul Pre Conference Workshop “Building Bridges and Breaking Walls, One Story at a time”

Stephen and I have been bouncing ideas off each other for a while now on a variety of topics. From Systems Thinking to organisational structures. The power of local communities.  Change processes in organisations. Process facilitation. And a variety of other topics. Even as the conversation evolved, we realised that we were very different individuals with a different take on most topics that we discussed. United only by a strong idea of staying engaged with pursuits that are meaningful.

Even as we discovered more of our worlds we saw how similar they were, despite having completely different contexts. Set in different times, time zones. As much as we had our differences, we were united in our openness to share and exchange stories from our respective worlds. Over time this became to be the fulcrum of our friendship. It was but obvious that the willingness to listen to and share each other’s stories bridged gaps.

One day as we sat on a rock after a small hike, a little idea came upon us.  We perhaps could work with larger groups to explore the power of telling and listening to each other’s stories too. Perhaps, we thought, that would bridge larger gaps in the world that surfaced in our conversations many times over. We ran a few experiments, ran the idea past friends and colleagues.  The idea seemed to have currency. It kept growing. We wondered why and came up with our own set of hypotheses.  The set is only growing.  Here are the five that I connect to the most.

a. There are too many wedges in the world we live in. Cultural. Political. Generational. Economic. The trouble is that those wedges are seeming to appear like irrevocable divides. Walls of steel, so to speak!

b. The world has newer tools and additional power to communicate in the modern times. Sadly these tools find increasing use in amplification of these divides.

c. Listening to each other’s stories helps understand points of views and helps explore our world views.  Examining these with an open mind brings greater awareness and possible shifts. Stories are integral to these shifts.

d. Shaping and shifting of the narratives and stories, both inside our minds and in the world around us will determine the shape of the world our kids will inherit

e. When whole systems engage in deep listening to each other new realities emerge for the whole system that can be infectious. Systemic change will bring about lasting impact for the system and its constituents.

For now :

Armed with the first-hand experience of leading change initiatives in large organisations and communities, we seek to further the conversation to see what more is possible. Would it be a new set of skills and abilities? Perhaps a deeper understanding of the process of change? Maybe a clearer way to harness what emerges from a story? We don’t know for sure what else the questions are. And thus begins this journey.

While it is a personal journey to take the ‘story of the story’ to newer areas, new bridges will perhaps get built. In the telling and retelling of the stories, new ways and connections have greater chances of emerging. All of us who jump into participate are going to be better off depending on how much we are willing to give and take.  Seoul in August ’17 will be the first pit stop. And we intend continuing the conversation, armed with whatever comes from the previous pit stops. This space will curate the journey and will continue to evolve.

This is work in progress. And this is far from complete. Wonder if we will all ever be. So, do jump into the conversation. Spread the word. Let’s see what stories emerge.