Patterns

Audit of Me: A December Reflection on Time, Attention, and Patterns

Last week, I was trying to get a suitcase under seven kilos so it could travel with me into the cabin of an airline where certain staff members stand near the boarding gate with a stern-looking weighing scale. They do not smile. They do not negotiate. They do not believe in intentions.

This is a strange modern sport. It involves rules, judges, and quiet humiliation.

Items that had travelled loyally with me across cities and countries were suddenly asked to leave. Some without notice. The weighing scale remained unmoved. The staff remained polite and implacable.

The suitcase eventually closed. Barely.
I did not feel victorious.
I felt informed.

December has the same effect.

Time slips away quietly through the year. It carries minor shifts and major changes in the same sweep. One day you are beginning something with enthusiasm. The next, you are wondering when it became routine. And where another cherished habit quietly retreated to, without leaving a forwarding address.

That is what time does best. It does not announce change. It just keeps moving.

Boundaries of time force a pause. A year ending is, of course, an artificial boundary. The sun and sky do not care. Monday looks much like Tuesday. But the turn of the year helps us keep score. Like a measuring tape pulled out reluctantly. Slightly crude. Still useful. You may not like the number it shows you, but at least you know where you stand.

That is why December is a good time for an annual personal audit.

The gentle art of keeping score

An audit sounds serious. It need not be. This is not forensic accounting. No spreadsheets. No colour codes. Just a calm look at where things went.

Every December, I start with the calendar. I scroll slowly. Meetings appear like family photographs. Some familiar. Some puzzling. Who did I spend time with? What claimed my attention? What expanded? What quietly disappeared?

Then comes the inbox. This is where things get personal.

Which conversations mattered? Which ones grew richer and more human over time? Which relationships were nourished, sometimes deliberately, sometimes by accident? And which ones gathered dust despite the best intentions, friendly check-ins postponed indefinitely under the noble excuse of being busy?

Emails reveal more than schedules. They reveal attention. Who we return to. Who we avoid. Who stayed present through the year, and who quietly slipped into the “will reply soon” category, where messages go to rest.

Then the credit card and UPI statements. These are always revealing. Where did the money go? More importantly, does it reflect how I thought I was living? What stories am I telling myself? Behavioural economists call this data. The rest of us call it evidence.

The point is not detail.
The point is pattern.

Ordinary lives, useful reflections

Over the next few days, I am sharing my own reflections from this annual personal audit.

Now, I am, by nature, private. What follows will be general. Pointers, not particulars. There will be no confessions, no revelations, and nothing remotely sordid. I will spare you the details and offer patterns and pauses instead. Think sketches, not surveillance footage. Hopefully, just enough provocation to get you smiling and thinking about a few things of your own.

My life itself is reassuringly ordinary. Travel. Work. Conversations. Writing. A clutch of modest successes. A few misses. Some bets that went wrong with impressive efficiency. A handful taken on knowingly, which sounds bold and usually means thinking, This could go wrong, and proceeding anyway.

Why do this at all?

Because reflection rarely arrives with drama. It comes quietly. While waiting for boarding. While staring at a hotel ceiling. While realising you have told the same story twice and it sounds different the second time.

Doing it deliberately forces attention. I remember, in school, a friend playing a rather cruel prank on a teacher who took afternoon naps under a tree.

A magnifying glass.
A patch of sunlight.
A sudden awakening.

The teacher woke up with a start, clutching his forearm, which now bore a small but unmistakable scorch mark. The kind that makes a man reassess both his nap and his life choices. Let’s leave out what happened to my classmate.

The point is simpler.
Attention wakes things up.

That is why I do an annual personal audit. To clear my head. Putting thoughts into public view forces order. It removes clutter. It makes you confront what stayed and what did not. If it nudges you to glance at your own year, even briefly, that is enough.

I will write about things I got wrong and what worked despite me. The places I went and what they did not change. The people I met and the conversations that refused to be forgotten. The patterns that only show up when you stop long enough to notice.

A few questions worth sitting with

Notes From The Rear View Mirror

What did you give time to this year?
What held your attention without asking?

Which habits strengthened?
Which ones thinned out?

What is still alive?
And, what needs closing, gently, without regret?

What promises were made?
Which ones were kept?
Which ones were quietly postponed?

If these questions create mild discomfort, that is a good sign. It usually means growth occurred somewhere without sending a memo.

December invites this kind of pause. With coffee. With Wi-Fi that generously accommodates my inconsistent sense of humour. No drama required. Just enough stillness to notice what moved, what stayed, and what quietly asked for more care than it received.

Suitcases tell the truth when weight limits apply. Years do the same, if you stop long enough to listen.

Patterns. They are everywhere. For the trained eye, they are visible.

They tell a story. It is when you spot a pattern than you can luxuriously indulge in creativity. Weaving a new pattern is imagination at play. “The truth is outside of all fixed patterns” said Bruce Lee!

All of this is fine. I am repeatedly made aware of how important it is to stop and think of my own thought patterns.
I realise that the real fortune lies there

#patterns #beach #Maharashtra #India #travel #traveller ##travelinsights #creativity #startup #entreprenuership #entrepreneur #development #personaldevelopment #joy #love (at Diveagar Beach)

Madurai. More the change, more the same

A week has passed since I returned from Madurai. I have discovered that such trips have unintended outcomes. Far different from the ones that were the stated. This post seeks to capture some images of Madurai. Images from the eyes of an outsider who was once an insider ! An inside-out view. Perhaps an outside-in view !

The city where I grew up now seems to be bursting at its seams. While I am part of the gang that causes other cities like Mumbai to burst at their seams, the fact that Madurai seems to be going through a similar transition is ‘interesting’ to say the least ! The city seems to have gotten louder. They are mile away, but still blare their loud horns with a seeming sense of urgency of a dissident MLA reaching the governors house to pull down a government! Or, am I suddenly experiencing the horns to be loud ?

The city walls & vertical spaces seem to hold more intense pictures of happiness than the ground below. Faces of all hue, shapes and sizes stare at you. Announcing some ceremony or the other at home. A child is getting her head tonsured. A girl has become a woman. Somebody else is getting married. Yet another has passed away. Lifes various stages can be seen on Madurai’s canvas !



Somewhere inbetween there is Thirukural with explanations from Karunanidhi the CM also peep into the eye space. I look bemused. The old sage and his couplets are relevant at this jet age ! I am not sure how many read his works but calling out his name evokes a tamizh pride they say. Now, I am not the one to ascribe meanings to this effort from the government to popularize Thirukural.

In my growing up days, I remember the good old Pandian Roadways Corporation (PRC) buses. They used to be painted a flamboyant silver. I sometimes think that my wonder years & the PRC buses demised at the same time. Nowadays you have ‘minibuses’ which are predominantly fluorescent green in colour.


Other buses are pink. Others are a deep orangish fluorescent red. God knows where these colours come from. But those are the colours that stay with me, as I close my eyes and think of the town in the modern day avatar.

And by the way Double DVD is de rigeur feature in most inter city buses. With two TVs and some ‘comedy’ scenes replayed endlessly. I think these buses will get Guinness record for maximum replays of the same scenes. After Sun TV that is. If you are traveling to this side of the country, this is a ‘must experience’ feature!

Of all the sounds that would punctuate the night air would be the sound of hot iron on the tawa. Making Kothu Parotta ( Minced Parathas). Made from maida and filled with oil, lipsmackingly tasty and ofcourse, guranteed to sit on your lips for a couple of minutes and on your hips for a lifetime. The clang of metal through the maida & oil continue to puncture the night air. With a renewed vigour that would give Mumbai traffic noises a serious run for their money !

The city has changed. But the essence remains. Perhaps reflective of my eyes. And perhaps my soul. More of the change and more of the same !


The temple. Oh yes, the temple was in a training program. I mean a refurbishment of sorts. The chitrai festival is to hit the city in 20 odd days. And arrangements were on a full swing.

More of the change. More of the same !!

Its a flat world !

Prices of apartments and land have sky rocketed in every Indian city i know ! Well, sky rocketed is a very modest term at that. With every inch of land being occupied, disputed, bought, rented or invested in. The latest in the series being, ‘taken over by the government’ !!
I remember doing an in depth analysis of Kenichi Ohmae’s book “A borderless world” as a management grad. One of those themes, back then, that used to occupy my mind was a truly borderless world. We seem to be getting there !

“In the last two years around 500 Indians, a number of whom are said to be agriculturalists from Chandigarh and the northern region, have registered themselves for the ‘Malaysia, My Second Home’ ( MM2H in short) venture that is being sponsored by the Malaysian Tourism Board.

Under the scheme, the Malaysian government allows tourists to invest into the country’s real estate market. It’s simple, just pick a home ( either in the heart of the city or an island), pick your price ( in upwards of Rs.18 lakh) and voila ! You have a home for yourself….” Times of India. Bangalore, May 1st, ’07.


The logic seems to be that people who settle will invariably visit the country. Thrown in are a 5 year visa and such other benefits. I am sure the Malaysian government has got its calculations right, given our battalion of relatives & friends !

The concept seems alluring isn’t it. Some of my friends who wanted to invest in a second home found it a struggle to find a decent apartment under Rs. 40 lacs, in Bangalore. But hey, now there is Malaysia !

I was all set to close this post, when my wife chipped in with this news. Dubai beckons too. Giving you a permanent residential visa on buying a flat over there. ( Coupled with interest free loans et al ) !

When it comes to flats, i guess the world is turning ! And getting truly flat !!

I chanced upon today’s music in You Tube. Japanese kids dancing to a Tamil film song. The synchrony kept me riveted & i had to share ! The borders just didn’t seem to exist !