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Both Sides Now, by the Fire

There is something about a small fire on a quiet night that makes a person philosophical far quicker than any self-help book ever could.

You sit down thinking it will be a short, practical affair. Just ten minutes. Maybe fifteen. Light the fire, warm your hands, admire the sky, go back in. But fires, like old friends and railway delays, rarely stay within schedule.

Soon you are staring at the flames as if they have something important to say. The wood crackles with the confidence of a man who has never had to attend a budget meeting. The sparks rise bravely, like ambitious ideas, and vanish just as quickly.

Above, the clouds drift across the moon in slow, thoughtful formations. They look dramatic. Purposeful. Almost as if they know where they are going. Which, of course, they do not. They are simply being carried along, rearranged by invisible currents, much like the rest of us.

It is at moments like this that Joni Mitchell’s lines return quietly:

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

The fire seems to agree. It begins with neat, obedient sticks, arranged carefully by a human who believes he is in charge. Ten minutes later, everything has collapsed into glowing chaos. Yet somehow, the warmth is better than before.

Life seems to follow a similar method. We plan, stack, arrange, and schedule. We give things names like “five-year strategy” and “career trajectory,” as if life were a polite train that would stop at all the stations on time. Then something unexpected happens. The sticks fall differently. The flame shifts. The smoke goes the wrong way. And we find ourselves learning a lesson we never planned to attend.

Still, there is warmth. There is light. There is this moment, under these wandering clouds, beside this small, cheerful fire.

And perhaps that is enough. Not perfect understanding. Just a little heat, a little light, and the gentle admission that we are all, in our own way, sitting by the fire, still figuring things out.