The latter part just made me pause. “To understand yourself, watch what you envy”. Envy is slippery surface.
To notice envy. Not just the fleeting kind—someone’s holiday photos or a shiny new car—but the deeper twinges. The ones that linger.
Perhaps it isn’t just about wanting what they have. Perhaps it’s about something unspoken. Freedom?
Recognition?
A sense of ease?
Sitting with it, even briefly, might help. Naming it, writing it down, noticing when it shows up. Over time, a pattern might emerge. A quiet revelation of what truly matters to you.
I was flipping through my photos when I found this one—words painted on a monastery wall in Diskit, Nubra valley of Ladakh.
A simple message, but powerful:
“Never give up. Develop the heart. Too much energy is spent developing the mind instead of the heart.”
It made me pause.
We chase sharp minds. Smarter, faster, more efficient—that’s the dream. We analyse, strategise, optimise. But how often do we develop the heart?
Imagine if compassion was a skill, like coding or negotiation. If kindness was a KPI. If success was measured not just by what we built, but by how we made people feel.
The mind is important. But it can’t do the job alone. Logic without empathy is cold. Intelligence without kindness can be dangerous. A brilliant mind with no heart can justify anything—even things that hurt people.
Developing the heart is different. It means listening, even when you disagree. Choosing understanding over being right. Caring—not just for friends, but for strangers too.
Nalla Sivam, the unforgettable character from Anbe Sivam, puts it beautifully: “தயவுதான் கடவுள். எது நடந்தாலும் மனிதன் மனிதனாக இருக்கணும்.” (“Compassion is God. No matter what happens, a person must remain human.”)
It’s easy to be clever. It’s harder to be kind. Some think kindness is weakness—a soft option, a surrender. It’s not. Kindness is strength. Empathy takes effort. It’s much easier to argue than to understand.
A friend asked me, “But how do you define it exactly?” I told him that’s part of the problem. Not everything needs a precise formula. Sometimes, it’s just about helping people see that they too can help.
If that doesn’t make sense, well, it’s ok. That’s part of the deal.
To be ok with imperfection. To see the human beyond. And notice the deep, jagged edges of people and not miss them in the quest for surface-level perfection.
That’s what developing the heart is about.
This is perhaps the best message I can give myself. A note to self.
