Over the past couple of months, i have been privy to some rather strange ring tones. Mobile phones these days, come with de riguer features of being able to create / download your own ringtones ! And sometimes people use it so very well, that you want to grab their mobiles and throw it in the Mumbai flood !

Sample these :

a. We are in the middle of Dasavatharam, the now popular Tamizh movie. Time is in the vicinity of midnight. A mobile goes of. Not the usual ring, ring…. But ‘Kausalya Suprabatham…’ Loud and clear ! The guy picked up the phone and spoke. ( I seriously think it was an ardent kamal fan waking up people). That aside, you get the point.
Suprabatham for ring tone !

b. ‘Excuse me boss. You have a text message’. Says a message tone. For some reason, the junior most keeps getting this message, essentially so in the company of the senior most. In the loudest volume possible. That could be hidden agenda there too !

Babies wail. Movie stars croon. Dogs bark. Buses Honk. Elephants trumpet. Politicians Howl. Singers talk. Cows chomp. Friends chatter. Micheal Jackson says ‘Dangerous’. Football fans singing. Geese cackling. And other unexplainable ‘sounds’.

Imagine such strange noises emanating from deep down. I mean trouser pockets. In the middle of a conversation. Or worse, a presentation to a potential client. Imagine you standing there and finishing with a flourish, ‘Gentlemen, this is the most innovative product of this century. when do we get the cheque ?’ And there goes a ring tone. Of dogs barking or cows chomping. Or worse, a song like ‘ You cant touch this’ !

While ring tones help distinguish yourself, these take things too far. Especially if you bring them to the conference table !! And especially so if you set them to go off at the highest volume !

Many years ago, a colleague played a prank on another, who we shall call John. John had left his phone unattended. This colleague picked up John’s phone and barked into the phone.

‘” John, pick up your fu***** phone.”
‘” John, pick up your fu***** phone.”

He then proceeded to set it up as a ring tone and left the phone where it was. John came back to the cafetaria and in a pre-planned quiet moment, a call landed on Johns mobile which promptly translated to

‘John pick up the fu***** phone’ !

Momentary perplexity confounded John. It took longer for him to realise that it was his phone after all. And an eternity for him to understand what hit him ! Well, well, well…those were times.

I drew inspiration to write this after reading about a new ringtone that adults cant hear. Only children can !!! Its just above adults listening frequency. Read it here ! They call it the Mosquito Ring tone !

The world is moving to a strange tune. And i am not sure if it is music. Especially to the ear !