“If half the terms you hear at office go above your head, it’s probably time to stop smirting and start talking turkey. We’re not saying brushing up on your professional vocab will take you up the corporate ladder, but it will definitely add a hint of humour to drive those Monday morning blues away. Now, stop being acluistic and read on.

ACLUISTIC [ADJ.]: The state of being completely “without a clue.”
How to use: Don’t bother asking Vinod about the brief. He’s always acluistic.

BLAMESTORMING [V.]: Meeting to discuss a failure and find a scapegoat.
How to use: Ready for a blamestorming session, guys?

CLOCKSUCKER [N.]: A completely unproductive employee; a waste of company money.
How to use: Who hired this clocksucker?

DOMO [EXP.]: DOwnwardly MObile. A youngster who changes priorities, quits a high paying, demanding position.
How to use: Will you really go DOMO?

EXTRAVIEW [N.]: A second interview you feel obliged to hold though the position has been filled. Can be scheduled when candidate looks hot.
How to use: Shalini got an extraview when I didn’t. That’s so unfair.

FUD FACTOR [N.]: The Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt created in a customer during the sales process (which is conveniently addressed by your product or service).
How to use: You can’t sell medicine without working on your FUD Factor.

GREATER FOOL THEORY [EXP.]: The idea that there is always someone willing to pay a higher (and totally unreasonable) price.
How to use: Mina’s “unbelievable” sum is proof of the GF Theory.

HER ASSMENT [N.]: Sexual harassment by a woman.
How to use: Is the fat, ugly lady boss really a her-asser?

INSOURCING [V.]: The practice of looking within one’s company for someone with required skills.
How to use: Don’t insource, unless you want to spark off an office cold war.

JOB LOCK [EXP.]: Those who want to quit, but don’t want to lose their benefits.
How to use: The Job Lock syndrome is definitely in the air.

KEYBOARD PLAQUE [N.]: The greasy dirt that builds up on keyboards.
How to use: Yikes! Rahul should get the Maximum Keyboard Plaque award.

LOMBARD [N.]: Lots Of Money But A Real Dumba**.
How to use: Better bag that client. He’s a LOMBARD.

MOUSE POTATO [N.]: The modern cousin of the couch potato, who typically spends hours in front of the computer.
How to use: I’m tired of being a mouse potato.

NIMBY [EXP.]: Not In My BackYard.
How to use: Use that sales pitch by all means, but NIMBY.

O HO [N.]: Office wHO**.
How to use: Who are you, the O HO?

PEACOCK [N.]: Someone who displays every award ever won, in their cubicle.
How to use: Go to the peacock’s cabin.

RDB [N.]: Rectal DataBase. The origin of ideas that are pulled out of one’s a**.
How to use: Where did that idea come from — your RDB?

SMIRTING [V.]: Taking the opportunity to flirt with co-workers while huddled together for an outdoor cigarette break
How to use: He smirts with them all.